Personalized Memorial Services
I will work with you to create personalized memorial services for those who may be spiritual, not religious; for those preferring a secular service; for those unaffiliated with a congregation; and for interfaith families and communities.
A Celebration of Life
It is a privilege to work with you to create a celebration of life for the one who has died, honoring their beliefs and wishes, while discerning and respecting the needs of family and friends.
Thirty+ Years of Experience
I bring more than thirty years experience and sensitivity creating interfaith services and skill in respectfully blending traditions to create meaningful memorial services.
Grief
American culture doesn’t know how to talk about grief. And so we don’t. Or we use words that can cause more suffering. The unspoken belief and fear is that grief is a monster who will destroy us. Whereas the truth is exactly the opposite. We need to grieve our losses. We need to befriend our grief.
Every death that touches us brings us to the doorway between mortality and eternity. Each death recalls every death: Those we have grieved and those we have yet to grieve. Every death welcomes us into the circle of grieving, which is also the circle of meaning.
As we celebrate a loved one’s life, let’s remember that it takes courage to grieve. To open to its many layers. And as much as we need one another in our grief, it is also a very personal process. No one who can tell you how long your grief will last, how it will feel, what it will look like. Grief has many faces.
And grief is not linear: Just when you think it’s behind you, a song or poem, a picture or memory re-opens it.
When grief arises again, there’s nothing wrong with us or with our grieving. Every time we re-open the door of grief, we do so from a different perspective. Grief helps us open and integrate what really matters to us.
So let us be gentle with ourselves and each other in our grief. Grief is always a door-way to the heart. Always.
When we’ve lost someone dear to us, sometimes we try to turn away from grief. To shut down or postpone grieving. Yet, to be well physically and emotionally, to be open to life, we must let ourselves open the door of grief. For it is grief which shows us what really matters and how deeply we love.
Sometimes we imagine ourselves isolated by grief, when family and friends don’t know how to be present and run away. Yet, when we allow ourselves to feel our grief — to grieve fully, each time grief calls to us —we gradually discover ourselves held in infinite community of those who have experienced loss, who have been touched and changed by grief, our hearts broken open.
Grief, opening us to the collective heart, to Love, in all who grieve; transforming us all and bringing us home to ourselves and to one another.
Interested in learning more? Contact me today to get started.
What Clients Have Said:
- You have given us words for death and dying that help us make meaning from our losses.
- You have given us words for death and dying that help us make meaning from our losses. Thank you from the depth of my heart. You have eased my pain on a spiritual level.
- I am actively visualizing [my husband] as an integrated soul, caring for himself.
- Many people have told me how helpful your [service] was, in that you framed his suicide in a non-judgmental and non-blaming manner (avoiding guilt), while respecting him and focusing on his strengths. They have used terms like powerful, impressive, wise, etc., in describing how they viewed you.
- Thank you from the depth of my heart. You have eased my pain on a spiritual level. I am actively visualizing [my husband] as an integrated soul, caring for himself. Many people have told me how helpful your [service] was, in that you framed his suicide in a non-judgmental and non-blaming manner (avoiding guilt), while respecting him and focusing on his strengths. They have used terms like powerful, impressive, wise, etc., in describing how they viewed you.
- When I watched you conduct the funerals for [two friends], I said, ‘Well, Mary will do that for me’.
- I’ll take this opportunity to tell you how deeply I was affected by your words and spirit at [my friend’s] memorial. The thoughts you shared regarding living and dying were so very special! We could benefit from hearing them more often – not just on the occasion of death.
- You offered the perfect space/container/presence for me when I was preparing to lead the memorial service for my friend. Your words and your kindness were real anchors for me as I moved through that tumultuous time. Thank you.
- Thank you for your wisdom, guidance, and leadership… I knew we would be in compassionate and informed hands. Many people told me it was one of the most beautiful services they had ever been to. You gave equal amounts of guidance, encouragement and freedom to those attending. My R.C. in-laws were particularly blown away – they are used to something very different.
- Thank you for being part of Mom’s precious service. It felt just right to me. It was personal, inclusive and very beautiful.
- Almost a year has passed since our daughter died of cancer. I have read and reread the passages of your [script]. I love your beautiful writing – the use of prayers and poetry. There is so much wisdom!! Best of all, I thank you for the descriptions of her. They are just beautiful – and true. Thank you for a lovely service.
- You framed our sorrow in beauty and grace. And we were comforted.
- Thank you again for leading us all in my mother’s memorial service. It was really perfect in every way – I don’t think even she would have been able to find any fault with it!
- I can’t imagine a more perfect person to have created and presided over a memorial service for my mom. Your combination of deep intuition, attention to detail, and friendly energy created a moving yet light experience for all of us.
- Thank you for your help with [my wife’s] memorial service. It made me feel very good at a time when good feelings were very scarce.
- You have given us words for death and dying that help us make meaning from our losses.